[Music] today we have some variety of questions so we make it back like this the question which came in English and the series in English the question which I have in my hand is in Hindi Hindi Mangino necessarily Karuna should the him lament about take a Punjabi my attitude about Punjabi maybe today okay so the question was that why we have to marry and okay number one I am the last person from whom you should ask this question but I am not married so how can I be good enough to answer but you know a doctor doesn't has to have cancer to talk about cancer right so a doctor doesn't has a cancer but his treating cancer is talking about cancer so in that way I have all the authority to talk about marriage marriage is like a union when people love to say union of can somebody Souls it is always said marriage is union of this is a liar let me say this is a big thick line this is the biggest deception which the society has created it is not true at all sometimes they say the marriages are made in it's a lie you know a married man died and on arriving the you know the Bible and Puranas they are talking about the pearly gates from valuable enters and you will be sent into hell or heaven so he reaches the gates and the gate men the angel asked the question he said you are coming from he said earth and then the question was what what are you doing in the earth he said well I was married and before he could say anything there was somebody from the back of his whispering and he said send it to him and send him to heaven send him to heaven listen but why we said he's already tested the hell over there now no more hell send him to hell it so I can give hundreds of such jokes and stories about it so another thing which I really want you to understand this and that is marriages are also not made in Heaven's then some people say God has set you with some individual in one day that individual will arrive because God has made you the you know spouse so soon you will find someone this is line number three God will not do these useless things and if God is doing these kind of useless things then I at least will not consider him God he's not doing God is not doing godly things then so it's not God it's not heaven so then why you know marriage in nature if we see everything is in unison of two polarities negative and positive two polarities are working we have a male and a female in animal world in birds in mammals everywhere we see there's a male and there's a female and if we observe them in animal world they have the periods where they will be giving that call in that call is coming why because the body is throwing those hormones which are giving them arousal hence they will be looking for the opposite sex in the birds they have two cycles in a year some animals have three cycles in a year some have two cycles in a year so the nature gives them this change in the body in the chemicals in oozing in their body and so they're in common word is they're in heat the common word is that the dog is in the heat so the dog will look for a but if we see the human being then human being don't have this heat period coming to them you know once a year or twice a year in other words I can say human beings have always on heat because they are always looking for the partners and if we go sociologically if we go deep down into the history then we can find that long ago there was no marriage any man would go with any woman any woman would go with any man but then structure was created a structure was created because it was creating lot of confusions in the early history of the humanity the families were led by a woman never by a man because she is going to get pregnant she is going to bed chill she is going to take care of that so man was like a visitor's coming and going it was the woman who was the header it will be very surprised to know in East India even now a woman is head of the family and she can marry as many times as she want but a man once married to this woman cannot marry again in India in certain parts we still have this custom going on and the best example in Puranas ease of Draupadi who had five husbands in all five would get periodical times to stay with her one years she will stay with that a man and the other four brothers were not even allowed to be in that area where she is living with this one brothers but with the change of time the concept of either hood gained of more importance and when the fatherhood importance came then the woman had to take the backseat man because was the providers food shelter now she's pregnant or she's menstruating or she is perimenopause or she is in menopause so she needed help and somehow she got you know cornered in her house or a cave or a cottage wherever she's living with her kids you know those were the times where there were non sanitary napkins please remember this and those were the times where there were not ham pounds today women who is menstruating can go for a swimming no problem at all she can do any kind of sports activity no problem at all but just 200 years ago she could do this she could do this so woman slowly took the role of homemakers and the man took the responsibility of being a providers so man body and mind has a lot of masculine energy so he is a fighter he's a go-getter and basically he has most testosterone running in his blood so he's so jumpy all the time and woman because of her estrogen is more gentler Conwell sweeter rounder in the body and mind wise has if you see even now a small girl baby and a small boy they will behave in a very different way nobody teaches but this girl will love to have a baby a toy as a baby and she was going to imitate her mom the way mom puts her to bed so she'll put her doll into the bed mom gives her food she will give food to the toy the Barbies you know all these Barbies which are there now man has this ability but I would say the sexual hunger is so much so that is kind of uncontrollable so society felt the importance of binding a man with the woman and that binding was marriage before you are not married for man every woman is available for a woman every man is available so when she goes out even now when a girl or a boy goes out to the market or to that what do you call it ramblas yeah what will she do girl is looking for boys boys are looking for girls because that is how the Nature has designed them see the procreation could have been a very boring thing hence the sex got the entertainment part into it if the procreation would not had this you know the the sensuality or the the pleasure part involved into that maybe man or woman would be busy doing their jobs and they wouldn't have procreated at all like many women these days to not want to procreate to see a child as a hassle they are ready for surrogacy they are ready for adoption but they don't want to they say no we don't want to be bound with the child now a child is going to bring some restraint to both man and woman because they'll be jointly creating that maybe so Society invented the system of marriage for a man who would have been wandering after all these women and seeking and loading and trying to woo them and you know because the sexual drive is very strong and actually same thing can be said for a woman also she too can have a very strong sexual drive and if there is no marriage marriage actually if I take it into a very I would say harsh word or true word then it is a way to satisfy your sexual appetite otherwise things would go very high right so before marriage for a boy every girl is available but then our sages great intelligent people said no let's let him choose one and then he was told that now you have to be with her and she was told now you have to be with him so that their sexual wildness gets tamed second we are not just sexual people human beings also have mind and human beings are the one who created the society and society means family so to have a good same family to set of parents are required if the father figures or the father's is going to give a go-getter attitude to the child the mother's possibility we can say we'll give the nurturing attitude to the child caring attitude to the child hence the psychologists say that for a healthy child it is very important that the child has influence of both men and women meaning mother and father should be the part of this child's life for this child's growth to happen in a proper way so initially I would say that in India at least in Bharat this was the idea one once you're married to a woman then the man was said that now all other women are like your sisters so the chances of the raping your own sisters are how many you tell me and the woman was said that now this man is your husband and you know what it's a very complicated ceremony especially the Hindu marriage it's really complicated in a way because the whole society is sitting whole set of relatives are sitting and every time the Brahmin is going to say that she is your responsibility and she will be told he is your provider and responsibility and you have to guide you know her but then even woman is said now you have to guide him in certain times so in this Hindu manager when they'll do these circles around the fires how many times the man is ahead and women is behind yeah four and three so you have to be the guide the husband has to be kind of life and even wife has to be a guide of the spinned it's not just one way traffic and the father is saying to the to the girl that whatever times hard or good you have now you have to be with your husband so take care of him you know in sickness and health in the Christian marriages also they say in your sickness and health you are be in bad times and in good times you have to be with one another and support one another so marriage basically was a system designed by people in every cultures in every race in every country we see they have a certain idea of a marriage the Reitsma might be different their ceremonies might be different but one thing is very common and that is being loyal to one another and not committing adultery that was a very big point adultery is not acceptable yeah I know these days they have concept of open marriage meaning we are together but we'll be seeing other people also I know these marriages are also happening but the intelligent people found this idea and let me say before this institution called marriage was there it was like an open marriages people were just you know having you know some days some months with somebody and then some months with somebody and so on so forth but the biggest brunt is indeed by the children whom will they call the father's who is the father now so this this point became slowly-slowly so important and the constant figures has to be there hence the mothers in the father's they are readied to one another so they are loyal to one another and child is seeing this love happening in between the mother and father so child is learning so many things like being loyal not being getting led with your mind all the times you know the mind is like the but I would say a greedy dark [Music]
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