the haze is there the confusion is there hence you go to master you approach the master you do that with pronoun you say I have surrendered but yet you are not doing this reason the potentially sutra says that our mind is diseased with five glaciers we call it cliffs these five negativities are propelling your behaviors and you conduct yourself because of these crashes one of the clash is as Mita asmita means i am the feeling of I am i'ma do is I do this I do that I do this I do this what it's a fill in the blank whatever you do i do I want to do I have it I want to have it this is this is a smitha this i is so strong that even when you are surrendering this i keeps its head intact and upright so the act of surrendering is happening at one level but to another level the ego is still standing and will rather become more strong that now i have found a guru now i have a guru who surpasses all definitions and is the greatest have you ever seen two disciples of different gurus chatting they may be bursting my guru is greater than yours and the other person will refute no no my guru is greater than yours my guru knows kundalini chakras vedant and he would say my guru knows how to give sakti pots n Smith the energy and give you the Enlightenment just with the touch they are debating do you think they are debating for their master they aren't they are just debating it to protect their own ego and prove a point that what does they think and what they choose is the greatest why because I am the greatest we don't sing this song no one says it no one chants it but everyone hums it in their heart I am the greatest so whatever I do if I go in the worldly affairs I am the best see how people struggle to prove this point my design is the best how come my officer how come my senior has dropped my design dropped my proposal dropped my strategy we get angry same struggles and quarrels are happening in homes wife husband sister brother everyone has to prove their point but they will give every kind of argument whether logical or illogical they'll use every peer pressure to prove and implement their choices the communion with the master cannot happen as long as you have ego and it is hard to find this ego because it is lying in the deeper layers of your unconscious I am and I am is called asmita and yoga says it is a disease of mind it is a disease of mind so as long as this I honest is there and I am greater than you is there the communion cannot happen and what happens is that even when you are doing the act of surrender your ego will wait for opportunity to teach the master also a lesson and soon for one reason or the another's the disciples mind who has not fully surrendered will begin to point out the mistakes of master in the beginning it will be not very open and it won't be that clear also but very soon very soon these doubts and suspicions about the Masters conduct the way the master is functioning will begin to rise on the conscious level and one day the disciples just leaves or chooses another path for himself I just got an email today this morning from a boy a young boy he writes that I used to come to you and I considered you as my master but then a transformation happened to me and now I am happy that I have understood that I am my master I am my master and now I'm very happy but that is burdening my mind hence I am sending you this email about my this revelation and whenever I feel like coming to ashram then I will choose to come to ashram and if you can reply then do reply to my email can you anticipate what answer I would have given to this boy just one line enjoy your ego trip as long as you can he is so missled because sometimes I have said it many times I have said it that a time comes that the disciples disciple hood ends and the Guru's grood ends and both to join in oneness so we can say that a disciple transforms into a guru or we can say that the guru or and the disciple merges in one a unity and now none can be labeled now this is a very heightened experience but this young man is Saul ready to proclaim himself as a guru that he is submitting himself into this hallucination that now I don't need a physical guru that's fine and this boy this young man had been visiting me for almost three or four years and I believe in three or four years anything is possible either you get enlightened and enjoy the communion with your master or you can get an egoistic buffoon and that's what he has become i ego is the biggest obstacle and it holds us back so much that we aren't able to let go totally we aren't able to trust fully our suspicions I like hooks and even before we can say yes we already have this no this is the big this is my master and somewhere inside the song has already begun know I have to look some better person I have to look for some more eligible person or even if the search is gone the inability of surrender is still there does the communion never happens and let me say you cannot do directly anything to have that communion it is a fruit it is a fruit of labour but labor of love not labors of your ego
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