If you have not given them good values in their childhood and now you suddenly expect them to change, this is indeed difficult! What kind of personality your son-in-law & daughter-in-law will have ? Those who are doing astrology know that, this is also dependent on your karmas in previous lives. Due to your good past karmas, you will get the good ones. (Son-in-law & daughter-in-law) Otherwise she will be someone who will come to balance out your previous bad karmas. That is why it is said that if you give misery to someone, that misery will soon come back to you multifold. So don't be too lazy and don't be too foolish while doing your actions. Because whatever karma you will do , result of that is not driven by Ishwara but by the power of your karma itself. One of my disciple, his daughter-in-law, is devi chandika (intended meaning aggressive behavior). She is a Devi (goddess) ....but is chandika (pointing towards her aggressive nature). So the situation was grim. Once there was such a day that she left her own house. She just abandoned her home. Then she was saying 'I am so very grateful to God that He gave me such a daughter-in-law.' 'Because if I did not have such a daughter-in-law then just like my other friends and relatives, who are trapped in their householder lives, I too would have been trapped like that.' 'What shall we cook today?... Who will be coming today?... What shall we give them?... What should we do?' She said, 'Since the day I had left home, I am staying more in Ashram. According to the ashram's schedule, waking up at 4am, doing aarti (morning prayer), doing asanas, doing pranayama, doing service, open skies, sprawling gardens & lawns, for staying.' And you know that now in the ashram, we run an Ayurvedic clinic, Acupuncture clinic and we have in-house physiotherapists they give their service. Dental clinic, ashram has its own. Now tell me...60 plus old women or men, whatever they need, they got it all here. Also that everyday feud & war of words (at home) - He said this....she said this... you didn't do this...you didn't do that. She said, 'I am saved from all of that as well.' 'I am very very grateful to the Lord that I got such a model (daughter-in-law) with his grace. I am evolving in my old age by being on the path of spirituality. I have no concerns or complaints from her. May she stay happy in her family & in her world. May she stay happy. If her happiness lies in the house & property, she can have it. Now I don't get any happiness there. I don't get it...Now I... 'Sukh nahi re har bhagat bina' 'I do not feel happy without the worship & devotion of God.' There is a another aspect to this situation and the another aspect is... that someone's daughter in law was very nice. Her servitude was more than that of their own daughter. When they met me, they said 'Such is the grace of God that we got a very good daughter-in-law, we don't have to worry about anything. She is taking care of everything. And being worry free, we keep doing mantra chanting on our Japa-mala (rosary beads). She is so good, she is taking care of everything, she loves us and serves us. Even our own daughter would not have been able to serve like this.' What I mean to say is that whether your family members are good or bad, does not matter. When your mind is good, when your mind is spiritually inclined, when your mind is full of wisdom, then in all sorts of circumstances, life is good. So we should not waste our mind's energy on.... That my son & daughter-in-law are not good or son & daughter-in-law are very good so your mind gets entangled with them. If they are nice...it is good. If they are not nice, even then it is good. You only need to see that whether the state of your own mind is good or not? Is your mind in good state? Does your mind, being free of attachment & aversion, does it even try to master its prana (life force)? So having good, sattvic & easy to digest meals, having a good sleep, and the morning... Welcoming this morning with devotional singing & with the remembrance of the God. Welcome your morning this way. And you should do 'swadhyaya' (study of one's true self via the medium of scriptures) during the daytime. If you get some time in the evening, you should keep on doing mantra-chanting in your mind. Just like... Kabir ji gave such a beautiful example. 'Jo paniharan na rahe smaran, siir pe dhare uss ghat ka....' Earthen pot filled with water that she is carrying on her head... 'Paniharan' (women who fills & carries water in the pot), deep in her mind keeping the remembrance of the pot... '...ek hath baal liye, duje te sakhi sambhaal liye...' With one hand she is holding her baby, and with the other hand, holding hands of her friend, she is walking and conversing with her. But the water filled pot on her head does not break, it does not fall down. Paniharan who does not forget her water pots, maintaining a complete balance, she keeps on talking and keeps on walking. Once in Rajasthan, I saw that woman was carring 3 water pots on her head and one pot on her waist. Carrying 4 pots and with the other hand she was holding her kid's hand and she is walking with this kid. She is walking with 4 pots, earthen pots on her body. 3 on her head & one on her waist. Not a one falls down. Similarly the work that you do...cooking meals, taking care of the household or running a shop or a factory or while driving or anything that you do for work. That work you must carry on. But deep down, inside your mind - whose remembrance you should abide in? You should have the remembrance of your God. If you carry on your sadhana with the feeling of devotion then you will always abide in the remembrance of God. Yesterday, I was going through Srimad Bhagavata Purana, first skandha (canto). In that there comes this description that by performing external actions, external skills are mastered and by doing internal practice, internal proficiency is achieved. Meaning if there is a soldier who weilds a sword, he does daily practice with his sword. Hence he becomes very good swordsman. A horseman rides his horse daily, therefore he becomes very proficient in the art of horse riding. And the devotee of God trains his horse like mind everyday, so that his mind does not run here & there. And mind just remains engrossed in the remembrance of God's name. Because this is Srimad Bhagavata and this preaching was given to Dhruva by Narada - So he says, 'You should do daily chanting of 'Om Namo Bhagwate Vasudevya' and 5 year old Dhruva adopted this thing so well that forgetting to eat & drink his mind became so much absorbed in Vishnu that... Bhagavata says, that when Lord Vishnu appeared even then Dhruva was not opening his eyes. Why? Because he was having darshan (vision) of four-armed Vishnu in his mind. Meaning? In his 'dharana' (practice that involves fixing mind on a particular object - in this case, image of Lord Vishnu) Vishnu's form was so firmly established, just like you see tree, rocks and mountains etc. with your open eyes and if you like that river, your mind gets absorbed/fixed on that. Similarly Dhruva's mind was so absorbed in the image of Lord Vishnu holding a conch, disc, mace & lotus, in such a way that Lord Vishnu who had appeared outside was unable to distract/disturb his mind. Lord Vishnu then thinks to himself- 'I came for him and he is not even looking at me.' So this dharna of Lord Vishnu which was so established in Dhruva's mind, Vishnu had to remove that first. Now as soon as this form of Vishnu was removed from his mind, Dhruva became restless. 'Oh! The one whom I was remembering & the one whose form I was adoring, where did He go?' When he opened his eyes, what did he see ? He (Lord Vishnu) is right in front of his eyes. Lord Himself is standing right close to him. (Dhruva thinks to himself) 'Now the One whom I created with my imagination, shall I go and search for Him or shall I look at the one who is present right here?' Lord Vishnu asked, 'Dhruva when you were longing for my darshan, I was just close by. Even then you did not see me.' Then Dhruva said, 'The one whose vision I had in my mind was none other than You.' Now the doubt arose. Now look... Listen to the next section of this story in Bhagavata. Dhruv's darshan... didn't end in just having a vision only. The truth is, Dhruva also had a satsang (discourse) with Lord Vishnu. Dhruva asked only one question. 'The one whom I was seeing with closed eyes in my heart and the one whom I am seeing outside with open eyes right now, what is the difference between these two?' Little flashback. Dhruva wanted to sit in the lap of his father and his step mother, Suruchi, had pulled him away saying that, 'To sit in this lap you should have taken birth from my womb. The one who is born of me, Uttam, my son...' His name was also 'uttam' (meaning best of the best). '...now only he will sit in his lap. go away, you cannot sit.' Dhruva’s mother, Suniti, had made him understand saying that, 'Son, I definitely might have done some sinful actions in my past life that despite being wife of the king I had never been his beloved. And queen, Suruchi, might have definitely done some good deeds in past that she is so dear to the king. So it is my misfortune that you took birth from my womb and now you are also not getting that love. Just like I didn't get love from the king, similarly, you are also not getting it.' 5 year old child Dhruv replied to his mother, 'Mother, don't say like that. You just see!! Now I will do austerity. If doing austerity leads to virtues then I will do austerity. You just watch, the son born of your womb will achieve such heights in comparison to which, the lap of one king or royal throne of one kingdom will be nothing at all. You do not worry.' Now Dhruva... They say Dhruva then went into the forest in search of God where he met Narada. And listening to advice of Narada ji he undertook austerities. And now when Lord Vishnu is right in front of him, he presented his curiosity - 'The one whose darshan (vision) I had internally, who is that? And the one who is in front of me now, who is that?' Hearing this, they say, Vishnu made Dhruva sit on his lap. First point. He was pulled away from his father's lap so Vishnu first of all makes him sit on his lap. This father who is bound in the cycle of birth & death, they pulled him away from his lap. 'Leave him - why to worry about him? You come & sit on the lap of the Father of this universe.' So Lord Vishnu made Dhruva sit on his right thigh and then with the anterior end of his conch, touched Dhruva's cheeks. In this there is one... Puranas contain a lot of symbolism. So in this, conch's anterior end was touched, meaning.... Conch represents Vedas. So the last part of Vedas is what ? Vedanta. So Shri Hari Vishnu made Dhruva listen to the precepts of Vedanta after which he was ascertained. Now what exactly he was made to listen, Bhagavatam does not disclose that. Because this is the subject of Upanishads. This is not the subject of Bhagvatam. So only this much is said that posterior end of the conch was touched to Dhruva's ear and Dhruva acquired the knowledge of all Vedas. Now when he gained this knowledge he came to know that Sat-chit-ananda (truth-conscious-bliss-all pervasive reality) whom we call Brahman, In that same Brahman, many Brahma,Vishnu & Mahesh abide. In that same entity, Dhruva also abides. However at the level of Atman, What I am, Vishnu is also the same. So from dissimilarity (duality) to similarity (non duality)...Dhruv was ascertained of this. Let me say this again...you will not find this detail there (in Bhagavata). That is why it is always said that one should listen to any Puranas or Granth (scriptures) only from a Mahatama (Saint). By self-study you will only understand according to the level of your intellect. So after acquiring this eternal knowledge - Vishnu said, 'Since you have done austerity now I will give you my blessing and your boon is that you will have fixed honorific position.' You will never be deprived of this position. And this position will forever be your's. And symbolically speaking, this 'dhruva-tara' (polestar) in the sky.... This was dedicated to him. With his name, what we call polestar in english, this polestar is called, is named after the the great devotee Dhruva. Now the thing to be understood here is - That the one who was achieved after such a arduous austerity, after all this, did Dhruva go away with Vishnu to his abode? No. Dhruva came back. His father also came back following him. He asked for his forgiveness and said, 'Son come back to your house, come back to the palace.' Because Narada did two things - One, he preached Dhruva on how to perform austerities. Two, he went to the palace and severely rebuked the king... What a folly you have done? Do you even know what a great soul has taken birth in your home? and you dishonored him?' Then the king realized his mistake. Sobbing & crying, he went out following him (Dhruva). Until then it is said, Dhruva already had Vishnu's darshan and had also attained self-realization. The king said, 'Let's go back home.' Dhruv came back. Dhruva was not resentful & was not sulking. He did not keep sitting in the jungle. He came back home. He ruled and lived a life of a renowned king.
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